Thieves Like Us (1974)

A strange film to come from director Robert Altman who is best known for ensemble pieces (and briefly in the '80's for filmed plays), as this is a remake of the 1949 "They Live by Night" and a fairly linear storyline.  The original film was based on a novel with the above title, and tells of three jail-breakers -- two hard cases played by John Schuck and Bert Remsen -- and a young naive criminal played here by Keith Carradine (Farley Granger in the original).  It is the '30's and they rob banks (like Bonnie and Clyde) and the two older ones rope in Carradine as their getaway driver.  While on the run he meets Shelley Duval (a strange, strange actress, but an Altman favourite of this period) who is equally gormless.  Their love story is the centre of this movie and is gently told, but is undermined by the basic nastiness of the other characters; Schuck in particular, whom I always associate with comedy goofiness, is a right mean piece of work.  Altman evokes the feel of the period through soft-focus photography and a clever use of recreated radio soundtracks, and some critics think the film poetic -- I wouldn't go quite that far, but it certainly is an anomaly amongst his movies.

The Punisher (2004)

Based on a Marvel comic, a version was made as recently as 1989 starring the uncharismatic Dolph Lundgren, so I wonder whose idea it was to remake it with the equally unstarry Thomas Jane.  He plays a FBI-man who wants to retire, but on his last "sting" the son of Mr. Big Gangster, played by John Travolta, was killed; Travolta and his wife decide that the only suitable revenge is to kill Jane and his whole family -- not just wife and child, but parents, nieces, nephews, and just about anyone else at the family reunion.  Well of course in the first half hour they manage to kill everyone except Jane, and we then have a ninety-minute bloodbath to follow.  As mindless violence goes there wasn't too much to differentiate the movie from similar ones, but it was watchable enough; I did like one bit where "The Russian" was sent to deal with Jane (he was probably twice his size) and managed to duff him up good and proper before he too was vanquished.  The biggest worry is that the last scene sets this up a franchise to spawn innumerable sequels; one can but hope for the best and that good sense will prevail.

Dogfight (1991)

Sometimes after viewing some newly-released rubbish, I need to re-charge my batteries by revisiting a small masterpiece.  Set in 1963, on the eve of being sent to Vietnam, four young marine buddies on leave decide to hold one of their regular dogfights -- this involves each of them turning up with the ugliest date they can find in order to win a prize.  The one whose fortunes concern us is played by the much-missed River Phoenix; he hones in on the socially inexperienced Lili Taylor who was a fine actress even then (of course she may be on the plain side, but one could never call her ugly as her personality always shines through).  Anyhow when she discovers why he has asked her out, she is not only hurt but lets him know it.  He can't quite get her out of his mind and tries to find her; his apologies are genuine and they end up spending the evening and night together -- just two sweet youngsters.  He doesn't write as promised when sent overseas, but after he is wounded in battle and released, he makes his way back to San Francisco -- the scene of that poignant date.

EuroTrip (2004)

I do say on the sidebar to the right that I will attempt to view any movie I've not seen previously, which can be the only excuse for sitting through the above garbage.  Perhaps I am too old to even consider this sort of rubbish a guilty pleasure, and if I were the powers behind Dreamworks, I would have been ashamed to put my name to it, but apparently a lot of people thought it was very, very funny; how this can be true of a movie which even includes vomiting in the cartoon front credits is beyond me.  Anyhow, what we have are some high school graduates who have gone to Europe to try to find an e-mail penpal, having eventually decided that Mieke wasn't a fellow, but a hot babe,  We thereafter have to put up with every European cliche the authors can throw at us -- as long as it has a sexual punchline.  Some of the "antics" are right off the radar, including one of our heroes being accidentally declared the new Pope!  We are also lumbered with one Vinnie Jones (how that man ever developed a movie career is one of life's great mysteries) as the leader of a bunch of football hooligans.  I don't really want to be young and foolish again. 

Things Change (1988)

This film was co-written and directed by David Mamet which immediately guarantees that one will find a literate script.  It stars Don Ameche as a fallguy for the mob (he's a poor shoeshineman who's told he will get a wad of money if he confesses to a murder) and Mamet-regular Joe Mantegna (on probation with the mob) as his weekend baby-sitter.  Mantegna decides to waft off to Lake Tahoe where by insinuation he passes Ameche off as a big-time hood.  The complications follow from there.  Ameche's old-world dignity plays off well with Mantegna's modern craftiness and the affection that develops between the two is palpable and by the end heart-warming .  There are also some early roles for J.T. Walsh and William H. Macy, both way down the cast list.

The Emperor's New Clothes (2001)

A nice conceit here, but rather leisurely pursued.  When Napoleon is in exile, his attending couriers locate a "ringer" to take his place while he escapes in an attempt to regain his empire.  The doltish sailor and the imperious leader are both played by Ian Holm who appears to be enjoying himself hugely.  However things do not go to plan: the returned Napoleon can not locate any one to help him, while his replacement grows to enjoy his new-found luxury.  When the latter dies, everyone assumes that Napoleon is gone, but the real one is not having this.  However his attempts to persuade them just lead others, including the wife he has taken, to assume that he is mad (like all the other Napoleons crowding the mental hospitals).  The doctor who knows the truth was a love rival, so he won't help out of spite. Napoleon accepts his fate and lives to a ripe old age in domestic bliss.  I don't feel that I have spoiled this movie by outlining the plot, since it is clear from early on that it can only go one way.  But all in all, pleasant viewing. 

Hollywood Hong Kong (2001)

For those who think that Hong Kong movies are all about gangsters, lightning-fast kung-fu, or hopping vampires, think again.  The director here, the oddly-named Fruit Chan, makes art-house films that appear at festivals.  This one is, I suppose, meant as a black comedy, although it is more black than comedic.  We have a family of three obese males -- father, teenaged son and young son -- who are pig butchers; the mother has run away, but they do have a huge sow called Mama.  Next we have an internet junkie who lusts after a female he has seen on a porn site; when he meets her, he thinks she is the real thing, but turns out that she is in cahoots with a shady lawyer to extort money from him and others on the grounds that she is under-age.  She also seduces the older brother, but befriends the younger one.  We then meet a female mainland doctor who wants Mama to carry a human infant in the name of science and who has a side-line of sewing back chopped-off hands, even if they are not the correct ones.  All very strange.

The Hollywood of the title refers to some huge apartment towers which overlook the shantytown where the main characters dwell (and which will soon be torn down).  Hollywood taking over the world?

 

Citizen Dog (2004)

Anyone who has seen the Thai film "Tears of the Black Tiger" (2000) will sort of know what to expect from the director's second film: brilliantly-bright pastel colours, clever use of local pop music, and a sweet and naive storyline.  You would be right but still fall short of anticipating the strange visuals and weird magic realism of the tale.  A gormless country boy goes to the big city where he takes a variety of jobs and tries to woo an obsessed cleaning lady; but he loses her when she becomes an eco-warrior amassing a mountain of plastic bottles.  It ends happily because he hasn't grown a tail -- see the film and you'll know what I mean.  And those are only two of the strange characters we meet.  It all leaves the viewer with a big fat smile and you don't get many of those to the pound.

Elling (2001)

For reasons that I would not care to explain, this Norwegian movie was apparently its home country's biggest box-office hit.  It is a sweet and gentle film, but nothing to sock you between the eyes.  It tells of a mama's boy who is institutionalised when his mother dies (he is by now in his forties).  There he rooms with a Neanderthal who is even more lacking in social skills.  Eventually they are released to a council flat under the beady eye of  a social worker and gradually learn to cope with society, albeit in very limited ways.  Elling develops an alternate persona as the "sauerkraut poet", attaching his output to packets which he places in supermarkets, and his roommate finds his first girlfriend, even if she is heavily pregnant with someone else's child.  I'm probably making it sound droller than it really was.

The Brothers Grimm (2005)

I am always prepared to cut Terry Gilliam a bit of slack since he perseveres in trying to get his singular visions onto the big screen, often against formidable obstacles.  However, this picture (on general release tomorrow) is more of a parson's egg than an outright success.  His take on the fabled brothers presents them as conmen tricking the locals out of their shekels by ridding them of non-existant spooks; Heath Ledger whom I have never much taken to previously does a good job of the more studious sibling who writes down the tales, while Matt Damon is the carefree amoral one.  So far, one doesn't mind Gilliam playing with the facts.  However when he introduces the villains played by Jonathan Pryce (doing a Peter Sellers Clouseau accent) and his idiotic Italian sidekick played by Peter Stormare, one quickly loses patience.  The story continues with our heroes being forced to solve the mystery of a wicked forest that has swallowed up a number of children as fodder for the 500-year-old Monica Bellucci to retain her youth.  It is here that Gilliam's rampant imagination is given full swing but at times to an over-the-top effect -- and if anything is guaranteed to put me off, it is close-ups of hundreds of creepy-crawlies to evoke fear.  An obvious fortune was spent on the special effects and I can't help but compare this to what "MirrorMask" accomplished at a fraction of the budget.

MirrorMask (2005)

At last a British movie to rave about and there are no cheeky Cockney gangsters, no inpenetrable Northern accents, and no heritage corsets.  Instead we have a miraculous and imaginative rites-of-passage film, produced by the Henson Company, directed by comic-book artist Dave McKean, and co-written with the well known graphic novelist, Neil Gaiman.  The teenaged heroine played by an amazing Stephanie Leonidas (who bares the weight of the film on her slender shoulders) enters a dreamworld not unlike Alice's, but far more fantastical and  frightening.  The visuals, which I understand were created on a remarkably small budget, are beautiful and at times mind-boggling, as she searches for the mask of the title which will restore balance in both worlds.  I am sure it will be released soon, if only in a limited way, so do make a point of trying to see it in a cinema; a DVD would be great and I would certainly add one to my collection, but one would miss the majesty of the big screen.

The Grudge (2004)

Having seen the original Japanese film (Ju-on) which in fact was a condensation of four video films, I expected to hate this U.S. remake starring the somewhat bland Sarah Michelle Geller.  However since it was put together by the director of the original films, it wasn't at all bad -- although the first half was very much a scene for scene remake of the Japanese release.  The premise is that a house can harbour the unhappy spirits of those who died there and that this unquiet atmosphere will infect anyone who so much as sets foot in the house. While not 100% logical and ensuring that the Hollywood heroine would survive (sort of), it did have a good number of "boo" shots and managed to retain the singular creepiness of Japanese horror movies.  So not a total loss at all.