This month's in-flight movies

It seems to have become something of a self-imposed tradition that I comment on the in-flight films I see.  However since my upcoming return to the States in two weeks' time will be my sixth round-trip transatlantic trip of 2008, I am rapidly losing enthusiasm for the enterprise.  But never mind, here we go:

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008):  This is a movie that one must watch on principle, but the truth of the matter is that it is not particularly good nor exciting.  Production was held up for yonks while they found a script that all of the interested parties liked, but it is hard to believe that they settled on such a pathetic one.  Harrison Ford, even at his advanced age, still cuts the mustard as an action hero although he really must be on his last legs here.  Cate Blanchett with her phony Russian accent makes an annoying villainess, but it was pleasing to see Karen Allen back in the picture.  If new sidekick/son, the over-rated Shia LaBeouf, is being groomed for further installments of this franchise, they really shouldn't bother as far as I'm concerned.  Enough is enough.

Drillbit Taylor (2008):  It's the done-before tale of bullied students hiring a bodyguard to protect them, but the catch here is that Owen Wilson is a no-good bum, initially only out for the loot, (and allowing his equally reprehensible lowlife friends to ransack the kids' houses.)  Of course he reforms and all comes right in the end.  It would be fairly glib to say that Wilson is the whole show here, but in fact the three geeky kids are well-developed characters in their own right and help to make this negligible flick more watchable.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008): I only saw half of this movie from the prolific Judd Apatow stable before the entertainment system was switched off for landing and I can't say I'm in any rush to view the balance.  Jason Segel plays the loser who is dumped by his longterm foxy girlfriend (Kristin Bell) and can't seem to get his act together.  He decides to vacation in Hawaii and ends up at the same resort as Bell and her new and rather obnoxious beau, played by the full-of-himself (and rather obnoxious) Brit Russell Brand (whose charms -- if any -- elude me).

Married Life (2007):  Having seen so many of the films on offer, I was at something of a loss what to select, but this was a good choice.  Set in the 1940s with some excellent period detail, this is the story of long-term married Chris Cooper falling for the charms of a young widow, Rachel McAdams, and deciding that the only way to stop his patient wife (Patricia Clarkson) from being hurt is to kill her.  Nothing like finding the simple solution I always say.  However he is not counting on his best friend and full-time lothario Pierce Brosnan from also falling for his new love interest.  That's about it, but all rather well done and watchable, if not overly memorable.

You Don't Mess with the Zohan (2008):  Regular readers will know that I am far from a big Adam Sandler fan, although he does occasionally make me smile.  Here he plays an Israeli counter-terrorist who really wants to give up that life to become a hairdresser in New York.  John Turturro plays his Arab nemesis, and the film ends up with an overly saccharine plea for racial tolerance which is pretty nauseating. In the meantime we are treated to a run of lewd jokes about Sandler's sexual prowess and equipment, as he spreads his special mode of hairdressing amonst the grateful older ladies in the salon.

Tags: In-flight flicks, Indiana Jones, Owen Wilson, Married Life, Adam Sandler

The Roman Spring of Mrs. Stone (1961)

Based on a Tennessee Williams novella, this lovingly filmed but rather (in the end) depressing movie has many points of interest. Vivien Leigh, in her penultimate film role, stars as a famous but aging actress who has given up her career after the death of her rich, protective husband. She settles in a gorgeous flat in Rome and tries to fill her lonely days with whatever she can. A young and rather beautiful gigolo, played by Warren Beatty in only his second film role (and half Leigh's age), is foistered upon her by an impoverished and grotesque aristocratic pimp played, in her first English-speaking film, by the great Lotte Lenya -- some 30 years after starring the The Threepenny Opera.

Leigh is vain enough to try to delude herself that Beatty wants to be with her for her own appeal rather than her money and it is so sad to see a once-great lady give way to her baser instincts as she becomes more and more desperate for Beatty's "love". The viewer, meanwhile, can clearly see that the young man is a vain, nogoodnik only in love with himself. By the end of the film when Beatty has moved on to richer pickings under Lenya's guidance, we are led to believe that Leigh yearns for and arranges her last tragic moments, but the ending is sufficiently open to be taken more than one way.

To prove the rather self-evident point, especially nowadays, that it is not only great movies that get remade -- often to no avail -- but middling ones as well, this title was remade for cable in 2003 with Helen Mirren in the Leigh role, Anne Bancroft substituting for Lenya, and Olivier Martinez as the young stud. At least he didn't have to put on a suspiciously phony accent to play foreign as poor Beatty did -- but I guess he thought he was "stretching" himself at the time and it's only a wee bit distracting.

Guess what? Yes, it's back to the States in a few days' time for what should be the next to last necessary visit this year -- so I shall resume on my return later this month. Take care...

Tags: The Roman Spring of Mrs Stone, Vivien Leigh, Lotte Lenya, Warren Beatty, ping-ping

A Ray Milland double bill

Ray Milland had a long and rather strange Hollywood career.  The Welsh-born former dancer and Guardsman went to the States in the late 30s and immediately had movie success as a light leading man supporting many of the day's top actresses.  He proved his acting chops with an Oscar for the incorrigible drunk in Wilder's "Lost Weekend" (1945), but moved in and out of fine pictures and blatant rubbish for the next three decades.  I recently rewatched two of his movies and admire the fact that he remained ever watchable in all manner of outings:

Golden Earrings (1947):  As one critic wrote, this film defined the concept of "camp cult classic" before such a concept existed in the sense that it is so awful that it is compelling.  Milland plays an British army officer on a mission in Germany just before the outbreak of World War II.  He is captured and tortured, but manages to escape and ends up hiding out with Marlene Dietrich's free-spirited and superstitious gypsy.  She stains his skin, decks him out in garish garb, pierces his ears, and tells him to avert his blue eyes from the inquisitive Germans (the fact that she also has light eyes is studiously ignored).  Despite his growing feelings for her, he completes his mission and returns to Britain -- where the holes in his ears are a constant source of gossip at his Gentleman's club.  After the war, he receives his earrings in the post, so he flies to Paris where, in a nearby wood, her caravan is waiting.  Just like that!

Alias Nick Beal (1949):  Milland was most often a likeable hero, even when in the throes of drink, so his role in this long-forgotten film is a change of pace.  Effectively he plays the devil -- or at least one of his minions -- on a quest to obtain souls in a latter day Faust story.  His quarry here is honest politician Thomas Mitchell whom he manages to tempt with hopes of political glory and the attraction of a young woman -- both to the distress of Mitchell's faithful and sensible wife and upright colleagues.  Milland is nearly perfect as the sly tempter and quite probably enjoyed the opportunity to play against type.  In truth this is certainly a B-movie, but one that is well-conceived and well-acted. 

Tags: Ray Milland, Alias Nick Beal, Golden Earrings

Shoot 'em Up (2007)

This movie which I understand lost a bundle at the U.S. box office -- more's the pity -- is more fun than a barrel full of monkeys.  Written and directed by one Michael Davis (none of his past projects ring any bells with me), it is 80 minutes of live cartoon action that keeps the totally undiscerning viewer in all of us on the edge of our seats and provides a great number of satisfying yelps amongst the nonstop mayhem.

It is pointless hoping to make any sense out of the backstory which is something to do with breeding babies to provide bone marrow for a dying politician and how a munitions millionaire is out to thwart his plans with his army of assassins led by the unlikely Paul Giamatti.  The hero here is Clive Owen who, despite being one of the dirtiest looking actors on screen, acquits himself as the upright do-gooder who is a cross between Bugs Bunny and every guncrazy action man of the past.  During the first shootout he delivers a baby from a hunted pregnant gal and spends most of the film toting the newborn kid around after the mother dies -- this even outdoes Chow Yun Fat's baby antics.  Assisted by an ex-lover and wetnurse, the delectable Monica Bellucci, Owen succeeds in decimating the baddies, often assisted by his weapon of choice -- a carrot!  The movie boasts some excrutiating one-liners, but this is all part of the fun.

Since it was a flop, Mr. Davis is unlikely to be given a big-budget Hollywood film again -- and this is our loss as well.

Tags: Shoot 'em Up, Clive Owen, cartoon violence, carrots

The French in action

If you are inclined to think of French movies as talky arthouse features, think again as French film-makers are increasingly able to challenge Hollywood's action genre.  Maybe that's why so many foreign films are "treated" to U.S. (and generally inferior) remakes.  I've seen two French flicks in the last few days which while not great cinema necessarily, certainly kept the old adrenaline pumping:

Le Serpent (2006):  This was on many levels a relentlessly nasty film but one that held my attention especially since it cast Yvan Attal who is a fairly sympathetic actor in an unexpected action role.  He plays a photographer fighting a messy divorce from his heiress wife when his life begins to disintegrate further.  He has met up, supposedly by accident, with an old schoolmate played by Clovis Cornillac who seems to want to renew this friendship, but who is actually a cold-eyed psychopath with an agenda for revenge.  Watching the calculatingly evil way he worms his way into Attal's former household, proportedly protecting the wife and two kids from harm, and the fate he envisions for them is truly chilling.   The usually relaxed Attal must suddenly find his inner action hero which he believably does.  The film also features an early role for new Bond Girl Olga Kurylenko with a lot more kinky nudity than is likely to feature in Quantum of Solace or whatever it is called.

District 13 (2004): Set in a bleak future (actually 2010), troublemakers have been isolated into a cordoned ghetto ruled by ruthless gangs.  One resident played by David Belle has upset a local Mr. Big over a drug deal and ends up in the pokey framed by the police in the gangster's pay, leaving the gang boss able to abduct Belle's sister and keep her as a doped-up sex slave.  He is freed from prison when an upright cop needs an ally to infiltrate the ghetto to recover a primed nuclear weapon that has been stolen.  This possibly seems an improbable scenario but in truth it is an exciting one as played out, especially for the twist that emerges in the tail.  What makes this action movie even more watchable is that Belle is credited as being the inventor of the sport of Parkour or free-running, and the chase sequences show unparalled athleticism.  The many fight scenes are also thrillingly staged; all in all a great bit of excapism.

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Tags: French action movies, Yvan Attal, Parkour, pingping